"This is embarrassing! It doesn't represent our church in a positive way to the community. So first you need to write an apology to the elder board and then you need to talk to Adam and set clear boundaries about what's acceptable."
I was turning red with anger. My fists were clenched and shaking. I knew that if I were to open my mouth, any number of angry retorts and profanities may spew forth and bury my supervisor in an avalanche of rage. So I stomped my passions down to a defeated ash pile, mumbled a weak, "Fine.", and quickly left the senior pastor's office.
"Really?!", I asked myself. "An apology AND a lecture?! Don't they know?! Why aren't they praising this?! Gahhh!!!!!" I slammed my body into my chair and stared at the newspaper on my desk. On page three was a picture of me and my youth group, wearing our halloween costumes and standing triumphantly over the 300+ canned food items that we had trick-or-treated for a few nights prior on Halloween. By every means it was a great event. 'Mission accomplished!' as some might say. I even had record youth group participation this year including Adam, one of my fringe students.
Adam was the only kid in our youth group who was being raised by a single parent. He was an outsider by almost every account. He was shorter, heavier, and had more rural interests than most of my kids. He was also new to church. He had been coming with his younger brother whenever possible because he felt marginally accepted by the youth group. I could't say that the other kids really embraced him but, more that they passively tolerated him. I assumed that within Adam's social circles, passive toleration was a huge step up. It was good for him, and stretching for my kids.
The controversy began when Adam's photo appeared in the newspaper alongside us. He had dressed up as a 'pot head' for Halloween that year, wearing a white t-shirt with 'pot head' written in Sharpie on the front and donning a silver pot on his head. The other leaders and I found it to be immensely clever! Now, perhaps it was because he forgot to wear the pot in the picture or maybe it was that the idea that we were a church of stoners would be assumed, but the photo did not sit well with the board. They were embarrassed and it was my responsibility to fix it. I realized then that my church didn't get it. The kids on the margins weren't the kids that they wanted. They didn't want kids who had glaring 'weaknesses' to represent the church. And soon after, they didn't want me either. I was fired several weeks later for this and a slew of other controversies.
Boiled down, I think the sole concept of a Blue Ocean Youth Ministry is the idea that we want to identify and reach out to kids that are being missed. Now, this isn't anything new for youth ministry, per say. One of YM's most consistent strengths has been its ability to reach beyond the margins and find innovative methods for bringing those outside of love towards the center. Unfortunately, like my story above, not every church is on board. Often the heart of youth ministry gets burned by the politics of church. Read any introduction of youth ministry or listen to stories of seasoned youth workers and you'll find, time after time again, encounters like before. Our greatest victories can result in the shaming, rejection, correction, and even the termination of some of the Church's greatest missionaries. Equally tragic is the signal sent to those who were finally beginning to see the beauty of Christ's bride.
Going where others fear to go is, I think, one of the reasons that youth ministry stands out among church ministries. I believe that, in order for a youth ministry to really live in its mission to reach those on the outside, that they need to be in sync with the greater church. The BOYM concept is simply that they would share the same mission. (I'm assuming a mission of reaching the marginalized - not every church or YM claims that as a central value) That will be the test for a Blue Ocean Youth Ministry - answering, "What marginalized people is the whole church reaching towards and how does that impact the way that we do youth ministry?". Because honestly, if the larger church doesn't want the 'pot heads', we'll struggle to reach the pot heads.
My church shares a common mission of reaching those who have little to no church background at all. We work tirelessly to build bridges through progressive work with LGBT sexuality, issues of social justice, science/faith reconciliation, and environmentalism. This means my youth group is going to look different than a lot of other youth groups. My hope for BOYM is that it may be a focal point for gathering resources (people, curriculum, event ideas) that can spur our local churches on towards success as we endeavor to meet the needs of our communities.
No comments:
Post a Comment