Monday, March 24, 2014

Book Review - Amy Fryholm's 'See Me Naked: Stories of Sexual Exile in American Christianity'

In the event that book reviews may be helpful, I thought I might include one here that I particularly enjoyed:





I found several aspects of this book to be particularly helpful and hope that they may also benefit your student ministries.  In the introduction, Frykholm describes the tensions that she sets out to explore in the book.  She writes:

 “Spirituality and sexuality, for many people in American society and perhaps especially Christians, are kept rigidly separate, and many struggle to find a way to reconcile the religious elements of their lives and their sexual realities.”

To unpack this idea, she divides her book into three parts, each featuring three different narratives from nine individuals.  The book is unique in that it doesn’t present itself as a wellspring of information with all the research, statistics, bullet points, and practical tips that dominate most of our academic landscape.  Rather she lets the stories speak for themselves leaving the reader(s) with the impression that our approach to sexuality cannot be whittled down to simplicity as our cumulative experiences are not simple.  This is effective for those who bind sexuality to a pillar of statutes wherein the only answer is a simple answer.  Unfortunately, our habits of acceptance have reduced any plan that God may have for our sexual redemption into a plan of  mere compliance and suppression that renders our sexuality weak, shallow, and inaccessible for many who desire to see God’s presence in this part of their lives.

A Brief Summary of the Three Parts:
Part 1: Wilderness
The idea of the wilderness stories touches on the grey areas of sexual experience that many in positions of church leadership are reluctant to accept.  The stories of Sarah, Mark, and Megan summarize experiences of faithful Jesus followers who found themselves at a crossroads when what they were taught in youth no longer synced with their realities.  Their wound was a framework which taught that Christian sex is not like secular sex and that it is set apart by rules -  “Christian sex is safe and pure.  Secular sex is dangerous and exploitative and leads on a path of destruction.”  I noted that the goal of church sex-ed is to avoid the wilderness of sex.  We forget that God meets people powerfully in the wilderness and we are in need of a guide, as opposed to a map.  Particularly moving to me was Mark’s experience of a failing redemption of the Christian sexual ethic.  He observed that in both the cases of the ‘locker room’ vs. Young Life, “girls were objects whose primary purpose was to provide physical gratification.  In one case, that was allowed.  In the other case it was forbidden.”

Part 2: Incarnation
But the Christian traditions draws more value than from the wilderness alone.  Incarnation counters the Gnostic narratives that depict the body as evil, weak, and unredeemable.  It rather asserts that where God dwells is holy.  I like this as it leans a bit more towards the mystical, the artistic, and the holistic.  Monica, Paul, and Ashley share their stories about art, life as a whole person, and pitfalls of the purity-alone frameworks.
  
Part 3: Resurrection
Finally, resurrection stories, as described by Frykholm, “are about allowing ourselves, in spite of pain and suffering, to be vulnerable again to the world.  They are about practicing hope, trust, and openness in hospitality as we go through the ordinary acts of life.  And, finally, they are about working for the resurrection and liberation of others.  Anyone who has made it back from the dead has something profound to teach.  Quite moving to me was the comparison of Christian sexual ideals to pornography: “both were titillating and based on fantasy” according to Matthew in his story. 

Author’s Conclusion:
Frykholm concludes by suggesting an alternative ethic may include:
  • Offering the value of discernment over judgment
  • Cultivating a sense of wonder instead of fear
  • Practice living attentively with regards to our unfolding experiences of sexuality.

I’ll conclude by suggesting that this book will be most valuable for:
  • Encouraging an individual’s personal narrative to move beyond a simple-answer approach for sexuality, even if it worked for them.
  • Expanding awareness of the pain and the hope that are layered on our sexual backdrops. 
  • Reflecting personally and critically on our own narratives in light of how each story submerses our own into a different experience. 
For those interested, you can purchase a copy of  See Me Naked here.  

Friday, March 14, 2014

Blue Ocean Summit (Ann Arbor, MI)

This is a shameless plug to join us for a radical and worthwhile conference this May in Ann Arbor!  We're especially looking forward to processing Blue Ocean YM things with anyone who may be interested.